Somedays, I Feel Like a Spy

Some days, I think I would make a perfect spy. On those certain days, people I interact with don't recognize me. I can walk by and wave stand next to them at the grocery store and all I get are blank stares.

Other days, I feel like I'm invisible all together. Just last night on the drive home from work, not one but two people nearly ran me over. They didn't see that I was there and they swerved into my lane. Twice in under three miles I had to slam on my brakes and swerve. Also, twice in under three miles, I yelled a string of cuss words that would make my dad stand up and salute. But I digress....

I've written ad nauseum about how we are energetic beings first and foremost, and that our energetic blueprint lives inside of and instructs our physical human bodies. If you've ever watched a really good actor, you see that the energy they embrace allows them to become a completely different character. In the same body, they become a different person. Which begs the question, if we can choose to play a character by changing our energy, then which character are you being today? And did you consciously choose it?

Today, I walked around in the neighborhood where I work part time as a physical rehabilitation specialist for folks with spinal injuries. Many of my clients work in one of the local businesses, and as I shopped for groceries during the lunch hour, I stood in line next to a regular client. I smiled, and he politely smiled in return, no form of recognition in his eyes. I could have said something, could have told him it was me, but instead I chose to watch the energy exchange as a type of experiment. On the way back to my car, I saw my co-worker through the window of our office and she had the same reaction -- a polite smile as she turned away. When I stopped and pulled the door open, she exclaimed, "I didn't even recognize you!"

You could say that both greetings were out of context. That we place certain people with certain contexts in order to remember them. Or that maybe I was wearing different clothes or had done my hair differently. Those things can both be true. But the other thing that changed was my energy, the vibration I was set at or the character I was choosing to play.

When the intention for my day is to be a rehabilitation specialist, my energetic vibration changes to support it. If I like the people I work with and enjoy my work environment, my vibration might also change a bit to match it. If my place of work has a strong brand or work ethos, my vibration might also change to match it.

When the intention for my day is to work as an intuitive healer, my vibration shifts accordingly. Because this is more along the lines of my dharma, or true life's work, my vibration rises quit a bit. In fact, I think it changes enough that I become a different character in the same body. In my intuitive healer character, those who interact with me from the rehabilitation specialist vibration may not recognize me.

Setting our energy, vibration or character is all about intention. When we set clear, grounded intentions with the Universe, we make energetic shifts automatically. Shifts in our personal energy field can happen instantaneously. Intentions for shifts in our environment, career or in other physical things may take more time.

I think of bigger intentions like turning on your turn signal in your car. When I was almost run over last night (twice!), I noticed that both of the culprits turned on their signal while they were changing lanes rather than before they changed lanes. They didn't look for space, didn't early signal their intentions, simply signaled while swerving. When we signal intentions for a lane change, where we're asking the Universe for a large change in our life, we need to give the Universe a little time to make space for our intention. Otherwise, we risk running someone over and creating chaos, rather than allowing for the perfect spot to open up for us.

When we set intentions for larger items, like job changes, abundance or health -- basically for anything outside of a simple vibrational change -- we must learn to be patient and have faith. When we don't, we risk creating chaos  -- chaos in our mind. How many times have you wished for something really bad and kept wishing and wishing to the point that the wish wasn't even fun anymore, but filled with anxiety? Intention setting, or manifesting, is about setting the intention (flipping on your turn signal), waiting for the Universe to make space for your request or having faith (waiting for the other drivers to make space) and being self aware to recognize our answer, even if it's not in the form we originally imagined (we get space behind the big truck, not the sports car).

Setting intentions for manifesting takes faith. Faith does not necessarily refer to any sort of theism but rather faith in the sense that there is a place for you on this planet. Faith that your heart-felt intentions and desires are heard. Faith that you are deserving, and faith that you are enough. When we set our vibration, our character, from this place -- this place of faith that we are enough -- then there is nothing that we can't manifest, change or create.

How Families Affect our Energy -- and a few tips for staying sane this holiday season

Every Sunday, my boyfriend and I do our weekly grocery shopping at the local co-op. Today was no exception, except that it seemed like all of Seattle agreed to meet at the co-op at the same time. Cans of pumpkin were hoarded into cards, along with cranberries, organic turkeys, potatoes, yams, pecan and pumpkin pies and lots and lots of wine.

Obviously, people are preparing for Thanksgiving. And my guess was that the more wine in the cart, the more they're spending it with their family.

Don't get me wrong -- I love my family with every ounce of my heart. I call both my parents and my sister weekly to talk about the trials, tribulations, successes and joys of each week. I feel blessed that my family is an integral part of my life and one of the only regrets I have about living in Seattle is the large distance between us.

My family also creates some of my most difficult spiritual and energetic challenges, and it is the energy that is most difficult for my clients to work through as well.

Raise your hand (come one, humor me) if you've experienced something like this: the holidays come around and you get really excited to see your family. You can't wait for mutual show and tell, the family traditions and rituals, and spending time together. For the first couple of days, everything feels amazing and you're so happy you made it. Then, after a little while, a melancholy sort of feeling sets in -- you start to feel a little down, perhaps frustrated, and maybe you start to question some of the choices you've made that aren't the same as your family's. For me, the overall feeling I get is of feeling stuck and confused for no reason that I can pinpoint.

Sound familiar? (If not, you're more rare than a unicorn underneath a rainbow of miracles. Good job, you).

When I read clients who have just spent a lot of time with their families, I often notice that their energy field is clogged with family energy. This is energy that says, "These are our family norms/belief systems/standard operating procedures. You've deviated from this program. Here is a reminder to get you back on track." Clients feel stuck because this energy is laying on top of their own innate energy and acting like a control.

You can think of it like a computer virus. You've got all of your energetic programs running smoothly, exactly the way you want them. You're creating your own way in the world, setting your energy high and manifesting your dreams, then all the sudden your software starts to act a little weird. Everything slows down and before you know it, you're not controlling your computer anymore -- the virus is.

Our energetic field is responsible for our whole reality. It is an intricate and elaborate system created from our belief systems, karmic patterns, past time information, present time thought patterns, emotions and creativity. We can compare our energetic field to a computer system -- a healthy energetic field is running completely on its own energy in order to create its reality, just like a healthy computer system is running only on the programs we chose for our operating system. An unhealthy energy system is one running on pre-programmed ideas or lies hidden as truths, just like an unhealthy computer system is stuck or inefficient because of crap software that we don't really use, viruses, spy ware and malware.

So, back to how family energy can act as a virus.  In order for a virus to be effective, the person planting the virus must intricately understand the system, and the system must have a weakness in order for the virus to be successful. When we are born, we knew very little about how to survive in the world. We looked to our parents to supply us with information about how the world works. In essence, we actively allowed our families to program our energetic system for us. We had to -- our survival depended on it! But it doesn't any more. Part of becoming an adult is separating from ideas and beliefs that we don't resonate with, which often means a continual separation from the energy that was pre-programmed into us and a move to reprogram our energy system with our own ideas and values.

This is how energy healings work. When I work with a client, I'm basically helping them wipe their energetic hard drive of anything that's contributing toward ill health, feeling stuck, or otherwise not serving them so that they can replace those energies with their own creativity, beliefs and personal power. When we stand in our own energy, we feel better, more ourselves. Our self esteem increases and we are able to have more certainty about our life path.

It's relatively easy to clean the energy body of foreign energy, especially of co-workers, friends, acquaintances and even romantic partners. These energies are more like extra programs that you download from the internet -- they may benefit you in the short term, but eventually they can start to cause problems. When they do, you can just uninstall. But family energy works more like a virus because that's the energy you started your life with. Family energy understands your system completely because it created your first belief systems, emotional patterns, thought patterns, and the basic, underlying story you have about your life. That story creates energetic pictures about who we are at a base level. Family energy recognizes these pictures and says, "Haha! You're still mine! You have my blueprint! You've deviated a bit, but it doesn't mean you don't recognize me! Match me, match me!"

I am in no way saying that our beloved families are consciously malicious (at least, mine aren't -- you can decide that for yourself). The impact of family energy is unconscious on the part of the family members -- it's more like their love, hope, worry and fear are more easily channelled into our sensitive systems. Family energy just works differently in our bodies than the energy of others. As one of my psychic colleagues said the other day, "You can learn and grow as a psychic, and move more and more energy and become less and less reactive to people and situations around you. But when family is involved, all bets are off."

So what can we do about it? Before I go into a family situation, I take extra time to get grounded, set my energy, hold my vibration and take extra self-pampering tools with me. I check in with myself throughout the visit to notice if I'm still holding my vibration. I set up extra energy readings and healings with my colleagues.  And I always try to employ the two best tools of all -- neutrality, and lots and lots of amusement. This holiday season, I suggest you read through my old posts that include these tools and try them for yourself.

If all else fails, at least you've got the wine  :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Tool #4: The First Essential Step to Healing: Havingness

As we start to move into the holiday season, we often start to think of all the things we're asked to give. Give thanks, give presents, give time, give energy, give give give give give. Don't get me wrong, giving is great! When done in the right attitude, it helps us cultivate gratitude, which helps us find more contentment and ultimately, joy.

The work I do is mainly with highly sensitive people. Those of us who are sensitive know how to give -- it's part of our nature. Being sensitive often means that you're very aware of the emotions of others and often feel uncomfortable around negative energy. Because the sensitive body is so affected by the energy of others, sensitive individuals often avoid conflict in order to shield themselves from energy onslaught. Often times, this creates a sensitive person who has learned to give or accommodate under almost any circumstances.

But one thing that these clients often lack is the ability to receive and to own something simply in order to have it for themselves. Instead, everything they allow themselves to receive is because it will somehow benefit someone other then themselves. They feel a tremendous amount of guilt when it comes to having something that is just their own, a secret jewel just for them, just because. In healing, we have to be able to HAVE and receive healing in order for us to heal.

Sounds simple, right?

For so many of us, we practice giving on a daily basis -- that is, giving to others. What we don't do is practice giving love, affection, or attention to ourselves. One of the primary reasons I see clients struggle with healing is a failure to allow themselves to have it. This often manifests as an underlying belief in their deservedness to have or to receive.

What if we were all allowed to have everything we wanted, as long as the desire was manifested in our hearts and fed by Source energy? Guess what, we do! Our deepest desires and fears are reflected to us in our reality. The spirit knows it can have whatever it needs to learn and grow, plus the things it wants to keep the body comfortable while achieving growth. But so often, our bodies and minds have been programmed into believing that we have to be deserving of something in order for us to have it.

The spirit world doesn't work that way. It is human to say that something is right or wrong, good or bad, or that someone is deserving or undeserving. The spirit world doesn't see good or bad, right or wrong, it just sees what is. I'm sure we can all think of someone who is a total schmuck who has everything they want. That person may have a sketchy moral character, but they also have high havingness.

Havingness = our ability to have.

Think about how much you really let yourself have. I know that in my life, I have high havingness in learning experiences, good cars, keeping good friends and living in beautiful places, to name a few. Where I'm constantly working on my havingness is in my ability to receive and believe praise and in my finances.

Our level of havingness affects our health and healing, too. If you've been struggling with your health, take a moment to check in with yourself and notice how much you're able to let yourself have healing. Be honest with yourself. I check in using a psychic tool and visualize a gauge out in front of me, but you can also simply ask yourself how much you let yourself have your healing and trust the first answer you get. Maybe it says, "40%." Ouch, but you can work with that and raise it up.

In a reading, I can help you look at your havingness and help you discover what is keeping you from having your health and healing. From my experience from working with clients, I find that it often comes from a feeling of not being deserving, not being good enough, not knowing who you would be as a healthy person and being afraid to find out, being afraid of losing the attention that being ill attracts, and believing that you are a victim of your own body.

You are none of those things. You are an infinitely creative spirit in a body that you created.

Our body puts out signals to alert us that something is wrong. In order to fix it, we first need to tune in and try to figure out what our body needs from us. Next, we need to seek a treatment that resonates with us. We also need to identify and release the energy, belief systems or programs that made us ill in the first place. But in order to all of that, we must first believe that we can have our health and healing. We must first believe that we truly own our bodies.

How do we create havingness? Raising our havingness is a practice that involves understanding that we are inherently deserving of having the life and health that we desire and that when our health is off, it is our choice whether to stay a victim or take action. Taking action means more than going through the motions of healing -- it means digging deep and noticing whether there are beliefs you have about yourself that need to change and then making a commitment to changing those no matter how uncomfortable or ego-compromising it is.

When I notice my havingness is low for a particular area in my life, there are two ways I deal with it. First, I ask myself why my havingness might be low. Usually, I notice it's because it deals with an area of my life that I'm not completely comfortable in, have been hurt in, or haven't wanted to look at. Next, I ask myself, "What's my first step to raising havingness?" Usually, my body asks me to release an old belief I have. As I work on releasing it, I replace it with a positive, concrete affirmation. For example, if I have low havingness about finances and my spirit tells me it's because my belief says that making money isn't spiritual, I might use the affirmation, "When I prosper in my divinely-inspired mission, the world prospers with me."

There is a psychic tool for increasing havingness that's a bit more simple if you have a regular meditation practice. After grounding and calling back your energy, you can imagine a bubble out in front of you. In the bubble, as a gauge to appear with your level of havingness. Notice the number. Now ground your gauge to the center of the planet and allow the grounding chord to release from the gauge any energy that's not allowing you to have what you want/need. See the energy move to the center of the planet. You may be able to identify it, but you don't have to. Watch your gauge, it may have moved upward. If not, take your psychic finger and move it up to 100%.

Sounds easy, right? It is!

Well, it is unless you're not ready to release the reasons keeping you from having your healing.

Havingness is also about ownership. It's about coming to the realization that this body was giving to YOU and YOU alone. The only thing that holds you prisoner in your own body is you. Once you realize that you create your prison or oasis you can take ownership of your creation and begin to create your own healing path -- no matter how many times you've been hurt by others, used by others, given to others, your healing path can be no one's but yours. Own it!

Spiritual Tool #3: Filling up with YOU!

How many times have you come home from a day and said, "I feel so drained!"? If you're like me, it happens regularly, especially when around lots of people, when helping lots of clients throughout the day, or when intense or stressful situations present themselves. This post is about helping you call your energy back, which makes you feel more grounded, yourself, and literally gives you more physical energy!

In my post about grounding, I talked about how our energy bodies can be like little sponges, picking up energy from other people -- people we talk to, care for, or interact with. That entry talked about the importance of clearing or grounding those outside energies away after each day.  But just as we pick up other people's energy, we often give our energy to other people, events, or projects. Sometimes we leave our energy there, in the past, where it really does us no good. In order to keep our energy levels high, we need to fill back up with us!

The only moment that we have to work with is the present. When our energy is in the past, or the future, or with mom, or with your latest craft project, or planning dinner, we don't have as much energy available to work with in the present moment. I'm sure we've all experienced it before -- we are excited about a new project, or we have a family member or situation we're worried about, and so our energy is focused there while we try to move throughout our day and complete our day-to-day tasks. We find ourselves becoming sloppy, unable to concentrate, and feel completely wiped out by the end of the day.

It doesn't do us any good to keep our energy anywhere but right inside our body and aura. It's been said that worry is a misuse of imagination. I say energy directed anywhere except the present moment is a cheat to ourselves and the lives we're creating.

So many of us in the healing field struggle with this. We worry about our clients, or we continuously try to problem-solve other's situations while we're going through the motions of present day activities. Even those outside the healing field can relate -- we've all experienced a loved one who is going through a tough time, and often we feel emotionally connected or responsible for their well-being.  Often, we keep our thoughts or prayers with them and forget about the quality and importance of our own attention in the present moment.

Guess what -- that doesn't serve either party.

If my energy is with one of my sick clients, not only is it not with me, but it's also clogging up their space and keeping them from being able to find their most authentic self and their own healing solution. It is always best to keep our energy with us so that we can use the power of the present moment to direct all of our energy to the focal point at hand.

Our attention is the most powerful tool we own. If we can gather up all of our energy and direct our attention at just one thing, the rest of the world falls away. We've all experienced this -- maybe in a yoga class where you observed your thoughts rather than listening to them, or when you become so focused on a project that you lost track of time and created your best work. As a healer, I know I can help my client best by focusing on them and only them in a session, or when I'm doing extra research to help them -- not by focusing on them while I'm blogging, making dinner, or listening to my partner.

So how do we practice calling our energy back to us and keeping it there? (Because, remember, it's ALL a practice).

It's simple. Sit in your meditation space and ground yourself. Use the grounding meditation listed here. Start by clearing away all those energies that you might of picked up during the day -- your client, that stranger on the bus who gave you the eyes, that cute barista who drew a heart in your cappuccino, -- all of it! Once you feel clear, start to imagine all the places you might have left your energy that day. I usually start with my dream space, which is generally very active. Then, I call my energy back from clients, from my mom, from anyone I might be healing inadvertently, from my boss, from that person on the bus I gave the eyes to, from my enjoyment of my (decaf) cappuccino, and from any other situation or project that keeps stealing my attention.

Imagine that energy collecting into a big ball of golden energy above your head that is as big as you are. Let that golden ball of light fill all the way up with your energy in present time. When it's full, pull it down around you and let it fill up your whole body and aura with your energy. Do this several times until you feel full of the live that is YOU. You can't have too much!

Often with this exercise, I get asked if calling energy back will hurt or affect the people, projects or situations where your energy was left. Calling your energy back will not hurt someone you've been helping -- like I said before, your energy of worry or healing, while fabulous in the present moment, can create confusion for that person once you've moved on physically. Your heartfelt intention of help or healing, when used in the power of the present moment, is beneficial. Once you move on, if your energy doesn't move with you, it can create the same energy of confusion and clogging that we clear out of our own spaces.  Similarly, your projects can't keep moving forward if you're working on something else, so it's more effective to always have your energy in the present moment. The same goes for situations or interpersonal relationships -- focus on the task at hand while it's at hand and communication will be smoother (that doesn't mean you can't procesas and reflect later, just make sure that's you're intention at the time).

Have you ever heard someone say, "I'm running on a quarter tank today?" This is often how full our bodies are of our own energy, but it doesn't have to be. Fill up with the golden light of your energy several times per day and keep your energy gauge at full all the time.

You always deserve to be full of YOU. This isn't about ego, it's about spiritual energy. In the spiritual world, you can't get enough of yourself, so fill up! When you are full of yourself and clear from other energies, that is your quiet, soft space where you can hear the clear voice of your soul. This is where you'll make your best decisions, heal yourself, and start to have an effect on others because you're brave enough to fill up and be your own creature. Here's to being YOU!

The Need for Spiritual Tools

How do we do work on a spiritual level? How do we make that work fun and effortless?

There are many ways to work on a spiritual level, but just like most work, it's easier done with the right tools. Meditation, when done with the right set of tools, can make creating faster, more fun, and less difficult. Understanding a few concepts about how spiritual bodies work will also aid in the process.

When we work in the garden, we use a hand trowel, or a gloves, or a hoe, or other tools that help us get our work done in an efficient and productive manner. There are concepts we use to understand gardening, like "growing season," and "harvest," or "shade tolerant," and "sun-loving." We use tools and concepts in nearly every facet of our life -- why should spiritual work be any different? 

I've heard so many people complain over the years about how difficult meditation and spiritual work is. "I just couldn't clear my mind, so I stopped," or "I just wasn't doing right." Some dismiss meditation altogether, saying "It's just not for me." By the way, I used to say the exact same things! But similarly, if you showed up to do work in your garden, but didn't have the seeds, the tools, or understand the concepts, you might quit gardening right away too, because it would feel very difficult. We need the right tools for the right work!

Perhaps some of you might be thinking, "Okay, but don't I just, like, focus on my breath or stare at a candle for a while or something, and then peace comes?" Sure! You can do that, too! Mindfulness practices like that are great for reducing stress and tension in the body and mind, and allowing us to focus better at work and school. If I continue my analogy with gardening, I would compare mindfulness practices to sun, water and seeds -- just like sun, water and seeds are the building blocks to growing anything, mindfulness practices are the foundation to building a really great meditation practice.

Good gardeners know that in order to create a really amazing garden, you have to have an understanding of the type of soil. you're using, if the plants you're growing are sun and shade tolerant, which plants like to grow together, on which moon cycle planting or harvesting should take place, and which tools work best for making changes in the garden. These tools can help you create a really amazing garden that brings you a luscious harvest!

Similarly, having more meditation tools and concepts under your belt can allow you to create the bountiful spiritual life you've been looking for. I want to share with you some of the concepts and tools I use to create a beautiful spiritual garden of my own. With these tools, you can:

• Learn how to feel safe in your own body and protect yourself from others
• Learn what grounding really means and how to do it
• Learn how to have more connection with your body and your spirit
• Learn how to create what you want from a space that feels effortless
• Gain more energy and vitality for yourself
• Develop better relationships with others by learning how to have healthy boundaries
• Learn how to validate and love yourself
• Learn how to stop giving your energy away to others 
• Learn how to find amusement with the spiritual process so that the process can move forward
• Gather more understanding about who you are and how amazing you are!

Each of the tools I will share take up quite a bit of space and explanation, so I'll write separate blog posts for each. I want to leave you today with a couple of spiritual concepts about how creating in the spiritual realm is different from creating on the physical realm, and how wonderful that is for us! What we set up on the spiritual level is often what appears on the physical level, so the more we are able to understand spiritual tools and concepts to move forward on the spiritual level, the more likely it is that our body and mind will follow suit. Two concepts to think about today are this:

1. The spirit works in a realm where time and space do not exist. In contrast, our bodies and minds experience time very linearly. But time and space don't exist in the energy realm. This is why I am able to conduct readings and spiritual counseling sessions with people over the phone. Energy does not have to follow the boundaries and limitations of the physical world, so you can create unhindered! 
2. Because of #1, the spirit can create and change instantly. The body and mind take a while to catch up. We call this period between spiritual growth and physical growth a "growth period." Sometimes our growth periods are a bit uncomfortable as the body moves its way through physical time to catch up with the spirit. Sometimes there is work we need to do on the physical level to help the body and mind catch up with the spirit. Understanding this growth period can be comforting as we work to move forward.
3. Because of #1, when we work to create what we want as a spirit, the meditation for the mind is to imagine that we already have it. The spirit creates instantly. The mind and body believe in time. If the mind believes something is in the future, it will always keep us just out of reach of having it. If we can practice, in meditation, already having exactly what we want to create, the mind and body can get on board more quickly.

Try it. What is it that you've been struggling so hard to create? Meditate instead on knowing that, as a spirit, you already have it. Imagine, in meditation, what it feels, sounds, smells, and tastes like to have your creation. Allow yourself to have it. See what happens.